| Feeling like an Idiot, really? |
Yep, today pretty much would've been a good day to follow the little man's lead and stay in bed. Why is it that I try to accomplish things and end up feeling like I'm an idiot or that I did something wrong. In case you didn't read my tirade yesterday about the insurance fiasco please go no further until you read the post and then we can continue.. It's okay I'll wait.. ready? Now, this morning at 9 a.m. promptly I get a phone call from the main insurance agent who assures me that he's apologized, the lady in the office apologized and there's nothing more he can do aside from address the issue with her and the other parties involved at the lack of communication and getting back in touch with me on the matter that had occured. He also made a bogus thing about how the lady had been e-mailing the contact back and forth for a week or more now, eventhough she said she didn't call because the lady hadn't e-mailed her. What a crock. Anyhow, he tells me that I'm not being charged any more than I would be and that I need to pay $115 to keep Kyan's life insurance active until October, since it would be considered past due since it took so long for them to get back in touch with me, when really I pay only $18 a month for his policy. So we're now no longer going with that insurance company again. Let's just say that they're not like a good neighbor and are there for you. So the whole time I'm on the phone with him he's being hostile and telling me to let him finish before I respond before every sentence, like I would be that impolite and unprofessional and would cut him off. I had only said, "Hello." and "Yes, now is a perfectly fine time to talk." That struck me as odd. He also started making it out like this was nothing out of the ordinary the intire conversation until the end when I said that I'd never dealt with a company, insurance or not, that didn't get back to you (even to the point of overachieving to do so when nothing is going on) like this company because the last few times I had to call them to check on things. Apparently he said that it is my responsibility as the customer to call them, not that he's not the agent who is supposed to be representing his insurer, and they've never had a customer inquire like me. Wow. Apparently they don't have people call in and dispute that they are right. And then again, there is that point about everyone wanting to be right! What is this?! So I hang up feeling unsatisfied, stupid, and questioning myself. Then I call about shirts that were ordered for Jared's soccer team and she told me that we'd talk at the end of the week.. um.. it's Thursday. I just wanted to know if I needed to bring her a check now so I can just pick up the shirts and go even if she's not there since they'd be already paid for and she said that she hasn't started becasue the shirts are in tomorrow and won't be done till the first of next week. Great. Now I have to deal with the "Hubba Bubba Hubby" who is going to be stomping around like a little impatient kid for his t-shirts because he can't stand up to a bunch of girls who changed their minds from tye-dye to black to pink letters to nicknames instead of last names and had camps and missed practices to get their orders in and blah blah blah. Oh my. I feel like the born loser. |
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| Why does everyone have to be right?! |
Even when we're little kids we have this insatiable need to be right. We need our little selves to be validated as being correct and we puff our our chest and smile keenly and go on through the day on a cloud. Think about the little kid who sees their younger sibling doing something wrong and goes running off screaming "I'm going to tell Mom!! Awww!! I'm going to tell Mom!!" or the "Oh yeah! Yeah!" fights where one goes off crying to an adult figure who is in charge (Teacher/parent/grandparent/babysitter/etc.) saying, "He told me blah blah blah and I said nuh uh! Then HE said uh huh!" and then the point is proven as to who is right and off we go with that puffed out chest again.
As adults we encounter such people, and in the course of this week I've come across two. The first is the lady at my insurance company who is very lax and cavalier about everything who I've had to call personally twice in two weeks about an ongoing matter with our son's life insurance and dealt with the month before about car insurance. Ridiculous. Are we not paying them to assist us and represent us as an insurance agent? Am I wrong there? Especially when last week it was a matter of "I'll get back to you" and here it is a week later and I'm calling to see what's going on. Apparently she e-mailed someone who had to e-mail someone else and didn't get back to her so she just didn't think it was worth following up on or calling me back to inform me as to what was going on. Now instead of the initial $50 payment, I'm stuck with about $112 in charges and fees because of her attitude. I also hate how I've been getting the "Well.. we didn't recieve the payment yet. Let's wait to see what happens" attitude. She even went as far as to tear up the check I gave her to pay for insurance for the car and sent it back once the check that I had stopped payment on, and thus paid more money to do so, came in. Then today she accuses me of bouncing that check when it was a stop payment check and she had a perfectly good payment in her hands but tore it up and sent it back. What a dunce. Her apology today was, "Well.. it's all in the past now."
My other person is a girl who posts on a message board that I've frequented since college about or 7 years ago. Not only does she have this need to "Clarify" and "Explain" and turns everything around to where it offends her in the utmost purpose, but then she goes as far as to e-mail you about 80 times in a week, continuing to stand on her soapbox of morality, and then proclaims that she's tired of YOUR attitude and lack of whatever and tells you that she has blocked your e-mail. Whooptie do. Her need to be right is totally insatiable and irresponsible to the point where she's too blind to see how greedy she is for it, to the point of immaturity. She then turns around and instead of ignoring all posts that you make, she reads, clicks the links and responds in a totally nice manner with a zinger on the end and then tells you that it's pointless for you to post things if you don't want people to read them, when it's pointless for her to respond to things when she doesn't care for that person and doesn't want them to tell her to stop starting things when clearly you can't even tell if she's serious, genuine, or just sarcastic and rude.
Why can't people just stop feeling that they need to be right, and have the last word, and just help someone out? Take their opinions and their feelings into concern, and know that there place is to be open and honest and to also help instead of being rude and not accepting that they have responsibility in matters as well. If you're in a conversation then you're responsible for around 50% of the talking and what you say has consequences. Why are we like this?!
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| Don't send an old man to fix my smoke detector! |
A few months ago there was a fire in the front part of my building. A stupid incident with a woman leaving her kid at home alone to go to a bar with way too many electrical appliances in use and overloading the outlet, and to boot, a heating pad on the bed in early July. Yeah. So today I had a knock on my locked screendoor from the very elderly father in law of on of the owners of our building. There I stood, fresh out of the shower, braless and covered in butterscotch pudding (hey, don't get turned on. I was drying my bras in the lingerie bag and feeding the little man a yummy treat, nothing lewd) and he wants to come in and wire up smoke detectors.
Now, I have nothing against employing the elderly to make them feel useful, but this guy doesn't need to be climbing a ladder to put in a smoke detector that we already have and is working with new batteries. However, who am I to judge? So he didn't come in since I told him it was a bad time (almost nap time) and that he'd come back tomorrow. Upon my inquirey as to what time (so I could be showered and ready and not napping or popping a boob out) he said, "Well.. I can just let myself in" Yeah. Invasion of privacy there! To be helpful I said, "Well. I stay home alone with my son most of the time and I like to lock both of my doors since I can't hear if I'm upstairs or in the kitchen or in the shower. I really don't want to come out of the tub to a stranger in my home!" and I laughed it off and he said, "Huh? What did you say?" and I repeated myself and he said.......
"Oh, Well, If I hear water, I won't come in."
Didn't he just say. "Huh? What did you say?" Ugh. So now I'll be up early, getting ready for the day, locking my doors, and waiting to find a grumpy old man standing outside with a ladder waiting for me to open up and let him in. My outlook is grim. |
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| That's It! I'm calling the TOOTHFAIRY!! |
Every so often when Kyan is cutting a particularly difficult tooth we get a visit from the ol' diaper rash. It's not a big thing for kids to get diaper rashes, slight fevers, excessive drooling, etc. when they are cutting a tooth. Even loss of appetite is quite common or so I hear. So over the weekend I could tell that the pinkness in his ever so cute buns wasn't just the rosieness following a nice relaxing bath and it was time to get the vasoline, powder, and let him air dry as much as possible. A pee through the baby gate, mopping the kitchen floor, and a day later it was time to call the Pediatrician. Now, I'm not the type of person who calls the Dr. when it's not necessary, but there's no need to prolong any discomfort to the tushie when I know it's not going to go away on it's own and the over the counter stuff irritates his already overly sensitive skin. Now, the first time this happened, we had a nice trip to the ER on a Saturday night. In the dead of winter I haul my baby out in a snowsuit (5 month old mind you) a fuzzy sleeper, his undershirt, socks and a blanket and we go to the hospital where a few month prior to he was born. The ER doctor obviously thought I was a loon because the first thing he said upon opening up the sleeper to find the undershirt and socks was "Mom has you bundled up very well Mr.!" and then a laugh and shake of the head. Hey! My Mamaw would kill me if I didn't keep an undershirt on my baby! Chest colds are no joke! The second time we called in a refil to his Pediatrician and no visit was needed. This time I did the same only to be ridiculed about why I thought he needed to come in (Well.. I figured they'd want to look at it to see how bad it really was and not just call in another refil so I asked if a visit was necessary. What happened to that There is no such thing as a stupid question rule?) And off we went to the Pharmacy for pick up.
So here I sit at the computer at nearly 2 a.m. We had a nice nap from 9 until 10 and then we're back up, drooling like a fiend, not taking the breast or bottle, and being irritable in our play pen. No love for the Mommy. I hate the toothfairy. |
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| Spread the word of God after 1 p.m. please... |
I'm not a very religious person. I'll admit it. Though it's not really anyone's business and a very personal decision for me, I can fess up to the fact that I really do not have any religious denomination that I hold near and dear. One thing that I really find to be annoying is when people force their religion on you.
Now before this goes any further let me just say. If you're spiritual and you want to spread the word of God then I'm all for it and you do what you do with that, but just don't do it with my involvement and please, do it after 1 p.m. if you would!
This morning at around 8 a.m. I'm awakened by someone knocking on my front door. I looked at the clock and thought, "geez.. I had another 1/2 hour probably to sleep before Kyan wakes up!" and I had a late night staying up to clean and press clothes and pack lunches and all that stuff. Jared had just left about an hour prior and I was really exhausted and know that he will be gone until late tonight and we'll only have an hour or so with him before he needs to go to sleep. No problem. I go downstairs, thinking something is wrong, and open my front door to two very nicely dressed women and a man in a suit who is about 50. I get a jolly joyous "Good Morning" and they proceed to tell me that they are hear today to ask the people in my town to please pray and offer guidance to the young people of my community who are going back to school this week and next and will be faced with temptations of all sorts. I'm a patient person, but at 8 a.m., those kids need to suck it up and deal with temptations and hope that their Mama raised them right.
So what do you do when you're stuck in that situation, right on your front door step, and you can't be impolite about it and just do what you feel like doing and shutting the door and going back to sleep?!
After a few minutes, the Man asked to please give me some papers on raising children, temptations in the family and society, prayer meetings and classes, (never saying what church he was actually from) and could I open the door so he could distribute them to me. Whoa Charlie! I opened my main door and you were lucky because I didn't know who you were, but there's no way I'm opening up my screen door to get papers that I don't want and will just be thrown away or litter my coffee table until I clean it off later in the week. So I politely said " You're lucky that I answered the door to begin with, because I'm a polite person in that respect, especially at this hour. I'm sure many people would love for you to be out here spreading the word of God, but I'm not one of those people.. again, especially at this hour. I don't like to be woken up when I don't need to be so that someone can force their religious beliefs upon me. I'm quite capable of believe in my own beliefs with whatever religious ideals I happen to believe in and hold true, and I also was raised to know right from wrong and to go with the Commandments, and I don't agree that giving out flyers and preaching to people is an effective way to get your congregation bigger." and then I saw the Bibles coming out with several marked pages and the finger that pointed up to say "Wait!" and I knew it was coming. So I did what anyone would do to an unwanted telemarketer who calls during dinner.. I shut the door. Rude, partially, but were they being polite when they came to my door, univited, early in the morning? Effective. Very. |
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| There are only 3 things that need to be done daily. |
When you're a new Mom you realize that sometimes, as gross as it may seem, that bathing daily is not always an option. When you're a stay at home Mom, you realize that it's even more of a lost cause because there is always something that pops up from day to day that needs taken care of rather than your own personal hygiene.
I used to be a bath girl. I would fill up the tub with bubble bath or shower get so it smelled all nice and pretty, get all of my personal effects (shave gel, razor, shampoo, conditioner, shower gel, puff and sponge, blah blah blah) and jump in for a good half hour or so and relax. Not so much anymore. I still tub it up because it's hard to hear a waking baby when you've got a shower running and it's hard to balance your leg between all the rubber duckies, bath books, baby shampoo and wash and not nick yourself in the process, and that is when I do shave my legs. I've also found the luxury of a much needed weekly or biweekly nairing. If I've got a few extra minutes in, I can cream those hairs right now. Of course, this luxury is only for the above the knee and below the belt portion of my body, which isn't always a priority until it starts looking like you could be confused with a grizzley 40 year old Brooklynite named Tony or Gino. My husband really isn't turned on by the dull glow of a 5 o'clock shadow on his wife's thighs.
When Kyan was first born it was really hard to get a bath in until someone else was home because of his Reflux. By the time he would lay down for a nap and I would get in the door of our bathroom to rinse off real quick, he had spit up and was wailing for a complete wardrobe change. Then as he got older I got more and more worried about him when he didn't wake up for an hour or so and felt guilty leaving him alone while I went to deskank myself, often times taking a bare minimum 3 minute dip in and dip out and then running to check his pulse. Or the times when he learned that he could spit up and not cry and Mommy would lose it in tears when she came back and he was asleep with spit up on his shirt, or when he finally learned how to choke later on and really rattle up Mummsie.
Post baby, and even still into my pregnancy, I was always a very clean and primped up girl. This is a trait passed on from my Mother who is always the same way no matter what. She feels weird going to the Post office or Grocery store without make-up and a hairdo. God love her. Growing up as one of 8 kids she learned that you always clean yourself up in public, and that's a good bit of why I feel like I need to clean myself up and have both of my boys be presentable when we go out in public because I want everyone to know that I take care of them, and this is how I express love.
I know at times I've taken it to extreme. The blowdrying straight, hot rolling, and then straightening ironing my hair became the norm, and all of the products that I applied to make sure that it was conditioned, anti-frizzed, color treated, etc. was more of a ritual than anything else. My make-up, applied in a few layers of eye make-up, a bright red lipstick, and some blush and pressed powder took longer to explain than it did to apply, but still a dilligent process. Waking up 2 hours before I needed to leave just to get ready was just assumed.
So I've come to realize that daily there are 3 things that absolutely need to be done to make me feel less gross, but still not on a "gag" level of noticing.
- Change your undies - not doing so is gross on any level.. this need not be explained.
- Brush your teeth - a dead give away if you should come into contact with anyone but your husband who generally wakes up with you sans pretty mouth every morning.
- Put on Deoderant - nobody wants to be around someone who smells like a spring mare.
If you do this, you'll surely get by. Perfume is optional as sometimes it will just cloak the fact that "Hey.. didn't you wear that shirt to bed that you're eating lunch in right now?" and other times it will seem out of place when your hair looks like a rats nest that not even Meg Ryan will claim to be a style done on purpose and compared to "bed head". And of course, showering the next day is a definate must, even if you have to bring the baby in the tub with you, or occupying him with a few minutes of mind numbing children's programing or DVD's. |
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| Why I can't go to Wal-mart to Frequently.... |
Since Wal-mart (or Wally World as I like to call it) is about the only place in the area where I can go and grab everything I need all at once I pretty much visit it on a weekly basis. There are certain times of the month where I pick and choose when I need to go and when I just could do without until it calms down a bit. For the end of August I like to opt out if I can because I know it's "Back to School!" season. Not that I have anything against little kids, because geez, I worked with them for almost 4 years! It's the parents! I can't stand to see these sleepy little kids, who don't want to be at the store anyways, being tugged around and knit picked with by a parent who needed to just wait until later or leave them with a baby sitter to come to the store for that length of time. Now, I know what you're thinking and there are certain circumstances that need to be explained as to why or how or what in each case.
- Children need to learn how to behave in stores and you can't keep them in the house constantly
- Some kids get the "gimmies" or are just going through a tempermental phase and it's not the parent's fault
- They have no family or trusted family members to watch them because they have just moved here from out of state/town/etc. whatever the case may be
- etc. etc.
I truly understand. My Mom was good enough to take us to the store with her and immediately get us a small thing like a book, crayons, etc. and it occupied us while we were there. It also was a reward at the end of the trip if we had behaved ourselves. Just a helpful little hint. However, it's the inconsiderate and blatantly stupid people who don't need to have their kids out at Wally World.
Case #1 - I got out of the house and let the hubby stay with our little one and have "Baby Daddy Time", which is a little break that I get every once in a while when I know that he hasn't had any time with Kyan or that I need to get away from Kyan for a while for whatever reason. Having a baby with reflux when he was a small infant, really warranted that break. I go to Walmart with my list of things to get and enter the store. I immediately run into a a guy in his early 20's, with two girls in their late teens/early 20's as well and two children between them. The one girl we'll call "immature" had her little one year old girl (cute and bubbly little thing who was proceeding to scream and squeal to get attention every couple of minutes) in the buggy and proceeded to push her around like she didnt' exist. The other girl, we'll call her "idiot barbie" had her newborn laying in the top basket part of the cart. Now, Wal-mart provides specific shopping carts for people who need the attached carseat thing for their babies for whatever reason. Personally I always detached his carseat and hooked it to the buggy because he was usually sleeping and it was his own carseat and I didn't have to worry about it being cold, germy, etc. No... she had her baby laying on a small blankie right in the basket. I'd say it was maybe all of 4-6 weeks old. Not only could it have fallen out, but all that bumpy buggy riding wasn't doing wonders for it at all. All the while "idiot barbie" is slumped over the buggy handle, smacking her gum, and looking at whatever catches her eye. The guy who was obviously the father of the small infant (for reasons that were blatantly obvious due to the ethnicity of he and the child) but not of the other little girl (also for the same reason) kept yelling that the little girl needed her "mouth busted" for screaming like that. Clearly it's a phase and she thought it was a game to play to get attention. I had to get away from them so I went to different isles to get the rest of my items and leave but apparently they were going to the same ones because I caught them again in the baby clothing, baby formula, food, and toiletries. Not a good evening. Would it have been okay to alert security or something?
Case #2. It was hot the other day and I try to park close to the store and obey the in and out arrows on the isles of the parking lot. I saw a lady who was leaving a very close space and I went around the way of the arrows to get behind her and pull in. I am waiting when I see a woman coming toward me and then stop and wave me forward. When I pointed to the space she mouthed "I'm parking there". Not only was this rude because I was waiting for it first, but then I get out, get my son and his belonging out, and she's still sitting in the spot, talking away on her cell phone in the airconditioning. Would it have killed her to sit in the same car talking on the same phone in my parking space which I had to back up and locate before parking? I could see she was clearly hoping I wouldn't see her because she kept fumbling with things in her car and avoiding my stare. Honestly? I felt like saying something to her as well!
Case #3. I was in the parking lot in June when a teenage girl and her friend in one of those Mini-Coopers almost ran me over, honking her horn as I finished walking out of the pedestrian lane and then sat with her doors open, feet out, talking on a cell, as I put my groceries in the car. Fortunately for me she parked right beside me as luck would have it. I put my buggy away, got my son and politely stood there waiting for her to move so I could open the car door. This time I did say something! I politely told her when she got out of the car and rolled her eyes at me and sighed heavily that when she was a parent she would understand how rude and unsafe it is to fly into a parking lot at Wally World and almost run over someone, especially when she realizes what it's like to earn the car she's driving and not be a spoiled Daddy's girl with her cell phone, rude manners and new car at 16. I politely put my son in the car, strapped him in safely and pulled out of the parking lot.
Am I being inconsiderate or thinking that I'm better than anyone? No. I just wonder when we lost our common courteosy towards others? When did we start becoming a world full of idiots? And what happens in a couple of years when my son goes to school with the kids of these assholes and has to fend for himself because his Mommy taught him how to be a good little boy with manners. It's an unfair world. |
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| Head, shoulders, knees and toes..knees and toes.. |
I dislike having this song stuck in my head.. severely, but I suppose it's better than having any of Fergie's stupid songs in there. Gha. Great,there it is. Anyways.. I feel like my head, shoulders, knees and toes want to abandon me, fall off, and roll away on their own instead of working together to keep me sane. I feel like my head is about to explode. You ever have one of those days where nobody lets you sleep? Or when you get up to see what's going on and to wish someone good luck on their day, you get the remains of their "it sucks to get up" attitude and then it makes you pissy all day long? Yeah. Like, I know it's hard to have a job and drive and coach, but I'm trying to make life worth living around here, honest. I make spaghetti and meatballs, I mail letters and type up paperwork, I even send nerdy yet racey e-cards, and no response. It makes you feel like not trying, especially when there is no joint respect in there for you in the end. Or like you need to lay low and let your stupidity fade only to be told that it's not your fault but by then you're just so weirded out by the whole subject that you feel a bit numb and just want it all to go away. Yeah, something like that. I also have Mommy Shoulder again, from juggling a 25lb infant/toddler, and a diaper bag and whatever else. Those goldfish crackers weigh a ton! So now I go to take my swollen feet and toes and carry myself off to bed.
SIDE NOTE: Today, August 15th 2007 at 7 a.m. will mark the induction of my 9 hour labor, lasting until 4 p.m. when out popped the most brilliant, good looking, and ornery baby every concieved and birthed. Happy Birthday to my Little Man! |
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| Please take a number and wait until my Uterus is ready for you... |
So my big beef lately is having people come up and ask me when I'm having another baby. Not to say that the people who don't ask before they do things to my son (take his bib off, give him food without asking if he may have it or what size pieces and such, give him toys that aren't cleared with me, put him in grass or on gravel/sidewalks...and the list goes on and on) isn't obnoxious to say the least. He's my baby, I gave birth to him, I've nursed him for a year, I changed outfits 8 times a day if it warranted it from his reflux, and I take great pains and go to great lengths to keep him looking nice and being happy and raising him how I want to raise him because HE'S MINE, just hohum things of that nature.
My problem isn't that it's a personal question that not even my Mom is interested in asking me or would ask me (and not because she's a self-proclaimed prude, but because she knows that it's something that I will discuss with her when my husband and I decided to take that next step)but because it's a very private matter that ultimately I will decide upon and ask my husband for imput on before we jointly make a decision. I'm not going to call people up while we're in the sack and say, "Hey um.. Aunt/MIL/Random Walmart Shopper/etc. what do you think about me making a baby tonight? Any thoughts? Pros and cons? Yeah, I'll hold." That's not how it works!
What bugs me is that people don't think about things such as:
- Did I have trouble medically during my pregnancy or labor or post partum and thus I need to seriously check with my Dr. before making that decision to concieve or would it be too risky?
- Are we financially stable enough to raise two children at this time or do we want to try to replenish our savings another year or so before we consider?
- Do we have medical insurance to cover two kids and my prenatal and postpartum care?
- Did I have trouble concieving in the first place?
- Do we want other kids?
- Did we have miscarriages before or even after our son was concieved/born and thus we are thankful for one miracle and if we are blessed with another that's wonderful and if not, hey that's great we have one great child.
- Are there greater needs in our household like another income, finishing our educations, purchasing or renting a new home because we don't have the space for two children?
These are all questions that nobody takes into consideration , but at the same time can't wait to pop out the "So, When are you having another one?! or Are you ready for the next one?!" question (especially at family gatherings or quiet yet random moments). To set the record straight. Yes. We are definately having more children. At this time, however, we feel like we have enough going on in our lives just letting our one year old be our baby and get our undivided attention. Perhaps when he turns 2 we will entertain the idea of what we need to do before we get pregnant for our next child, however, we have already decided upon things that we know we will be doing in preparation so it wont' be a big deal when the time comes or a big shock to get everything ready. HOWEVER, We would welcome any "accidental/unplanned/surprise" pregnancies that may happen in the meantime because we fully understand that you are never fully ready financially/emotionally/physically for a baby. Disclaimer: In the event that I do get asking this question again, my response shall be bluntly sarcastic as follows: "Well, we figure we'll wait until these invasively personal questions stop being asked because it's just so much fun hearing it over and over again!" |
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| Happy Happy Birthday Baby Blues |
Well my little guy had his first birthday party yesterday, and I have to say that it was a pretty good day aside for a few minor details. It gets me thinking about all the things that we've gone through over the past year from the moment we were induced the morning he was born. I have to say that I did have a nice pregnancy, no major discomforts, and mostly just anxieties because I'd never been pregnant before. I'd say I'd give the whole experience a two thumbs up. It's not really that I'd mind doing it all over again, just the whole labor part needs to be way different next time, but there are things post baby that you take for granted and wish you could have back even for a day. Don't get me wrong at all, I love how Kyan can give me a bite of his cracker now, or how he waves bye-bye about two minutes after we beg him to do it to relatives and what not but then waves to every car in the parking lot at Wal-mart and to random door greeters, and how he says Mama/Dada and crawls away fast when you're chasing him. I like how interactive he is now and the new milestones from feeding to clothing to toys that he's going through, but then there are the days when I wish that he'd fall asleep on his own after only 10 minutes or less on my boob. I'd also like to get through one diaper change without using about 20 baby wipes, singing "The Wheels on the Bus" about ten times (anyone know what comes after the wheels, the horn, the wipers, the babies ... on the bus go...?) so he doesn't roll over and we get only one cheek in said diaper, or to be able to lay and snuggle with him in the morning and have him actually lay in the same spot and not want to jump up and down on the bed, bouncing, and holding onto you. lol. Then there are things I don't miss like the irritating smell of formula after you forget that you left a stray bottle in your baby bag, burp cloths that are stuffed in every hamper in your house and always two new ones strewn across the bed/couch/etc. for ready use. The spitting up from his reflux and the crying the would insue from both Mommy and baby (hormones have atleast calmed down a little bit) or how I couldn't watch A Baby Story without getting queezy (And now saying, "That's still not how I remembered it..") or any type of crime drama (CSI, SVU, L&O, etc.) or Lifetime Movie involving missing, miscarried, abused babies and children without crying and squeezing Kyan because it made me feel guilty for saying "Oh that's a stinky dipie!" or "Aw man! The spit up stain didn't come out!"
But, with the optimism of my Aunt Tina, who I would personally like to thank because right before the end of the party and the guests started to disperse she asked the question that I was waiting for "So when are you having your next one?!" I guess I'll just have to wait for baby #2 to get to experience it all again.
*Incidentally, I'd like to say that there will be another blog posting on my thoughts about asking the "next baby"question. |
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| What a weird feeling it is when your undies are on backwards. |
Ever have one of those nights where no matter how early you put your kid to bed, or how early your husband passes out on you, and how frustrated you get that the laundry still didn't get put away despite your best intentions, you still wake up fully exhausted and disoriented? You put the baby down and when he wakes up around 1 or 2 a.m. you think "Geez. I usually am just going to bed and now this is our first wake up of the night!?" and it's the best and most obnoxious feeling in the world? Like the clock is just looming at you. Then your baby wakes up at an abnormally early hours (6:30) and doesn't want to go back to sleep and the usually cute first thing in the morning "mama" "mom" "dadadedddd" and "brrrrrrrpppllluuuubbb!" feels like nails on a chalkboard? We're at that stage.
It's now noon and still no nap, and still nothing accomplished beyond breakfast, a shower, a few diaper changes, and more laundry folding after realizing post shower that I had only one towel left and I washed my hair and thus was one towel short. The shower was actually supposed to rejuvenate me, relaxed and ready for the day, but instead made me want to crawl back in bed. Dazed and drenched I did a quick towel off so my hair wouldn't drip and flood the bathroom and slipped my feet into my panties and as I pulled them up my legs I started realizing at every mark..calf...knee...thigh... that they were feeling oddly not right until I got them all the way up and realized, "You put your undies on backwards!" Trying not to be a tipped cow, I slid them off and fumbled around and put them back on correctly, but now I feel like the day is very akwardly uncomfortable just because for 5 seconds my underrooos were on backwards. Talk about jinxed.
Atleast Kyan has made peace with the play pen this morning. |
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| Am I crabby and overly hormonal or are you just incompetent and insensitive? |
I'm really frustrated with the OB/GYN that I used to go to. And I say used to because I just got my records transfered. There's always something wrong that needs explained or fixed with my bills, or refils, or whatever I call in to ask about. Today was no exception, only I got mad once over the phone and once when I was in the office.
The thing about their office policy is that you must go to each Dr. in rotation, so one might give you an exam one month and the next month (or week depending on Trimester) you'll see another and they'll examine you a different way. So between the three in the office, one was male and has about 8 kids and no empathy, one was childless and told me to ask a nurse who had given birth my questions, and the other was a woman who was bluntly honest and I liked her. Of course when you're giving birth you never get the one you like. For me I was induced at 7 a.m. and 9 hours later I had my bundle of joy. We never planned to be induced, and according to one of the Dr's I was to plan for a c-section anyways because my pelvis is angled weird. Nevertheless we attended every weekly appointment, waiting and hoping we were dialated, and to no avail. By the time I was a day over my due date I finally got examined (after 3 weeks of not being looked at) and was told that I should've been induced a week or two ago. Yeah. Nothing like suffering through the late July and early August temps if you don't have to. When we were in delivery, Dr. Man came in and of course he asked my progression, if I felt anything after my epidural and I honestly answered that I didn't (and I did so because my Mom had told me that hers didn't take 100% when she had my sister and it was a back labor, which I was also having) and he in turn TURNED OFF MY EPIDURAL FOR AN HOUR WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE, NOT EVEN A NURSE! So after my 2nd epidural.. and more unnecessary hours of being on oxygen.. here came Kyan.
So I called in today because I needed to have them prepare my records to transfer to the Dr I liked since she had left the practice last fall/winter. I was told it was a $10 charge, unless they fax or mail them for me. Okay.. that makes sense. You'll pay the postage to mail it but you'll charge me $10 to drive there, pick them up and mail them or take them in myself. Good deal. Then I told them that my bill had come with the last name misspelled (instead of -ons it was -ins) and she got snippy with me about how it was correct in her computer and it was billing's problem and when I asked that she make a note to tell billing she got huffy.
I drive in, with my other errands of the day, and sign the permission to forward paper and explained that it was requested that they put the date of my appointment and time and blah blah blah. After a sarcastic "anything else?" I told her who to send it to and she asked at which office. Well, I called the hospital to get my appointment per what they had told me to do so I guess forward it there, and she acted like I was the idiot. Your office told me to call and make an appointment at the Hospital so why ask me where to forward it to her at?!
I really wonder sometimes am I abnormally hormonal since having Kyan, or too cranky because I used to have an office job and did it without sarcasm or ridicule and professionally and this office apparently doesn't have that same couth? Possibly is it that I just attract inconsiderate people? |
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| Are you watching me with your evil eyes? |
I woke up at 7:30 this morning with the feeling that someone or something was staring at me and low and behold I peep my eyes up to see a very sleepy faced, and very pissed off little man staring back at me from behind the bars of his crib. I started talking to him to try to wake him up a little so he wouldn't cry, but here came the grumbles. He reached up his little arms and pulled at my skin and shirt to try to get out of his little 'cell', and then he put his chin into his chest and gave me the mean face some more, and when I laid him down he started throwing his usual tantrum for the boob. Thus the morning ritual, which can start anywhere from 3 or 4 a.m. on until we wake up for good or give up and go grab a bottle and the rocking chair. It's not that I mind the arm behind and around my head so he can eat, or even that he hogs the bed like crazy because he stretches out and then cuddles up to you while laying sideways, it's just the mean face. Why he doesn't just start talking or let out a little cry is beyond me. But waking up every morning to see the angry munchkin face is just plain not nice. It's not Mommy's fault that you have your own, stylish, and perfectly comfy bed to sleep in at night. It's not Mommy's fault that you're too little to shimmy out of it and do what you want while she catches a few moments of much needed rest. Why do you make Mommy's day start out on such a sour note? The world may never know. |
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| Brett, you sick hair plugged bastard, you... |
I'm woman enough to go through childbirth, I'm woman enough to admit that I like Rock of Love with my guy Brett Michaels. There, I said it.
I like 80's hairbands, and it's a guilty pleasure, and now I've taken it to another level by watching Rock of Love like it were compelling and acceptable t.v. I don't care that it's ridiculous, everyone needs to unwind, and atleast it's not reruns of Seinfeld (which need to not be on every channel, IMO. Just like Sex and the City is the greatest show ever to some people, it doesn't need to be on 2-3 channels at the same time.)
Brett, where do I start?! I love your ripped jeans, because only you could pull it off at your age and nobody says a word. I love your lack of vocabulary, and what vocab you have is mostly never heard because of the censor beeps. I love how everything is a turn on, or give you a hard on, and how you basically love women without substance. I love how the only thing holding your barbie doll hot glued hair onto your head is those perfectly matched bandanas and cowboy hats. You skin is an odd shade of orange and beige, I wish I could paint my walls that color, or atleast find a couch (it's a really neutral shade!). Why do you pull me in like you do?!
In all seriousness, if you haven' t watched the show and don't have someone to discuss it with, you need to. |
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| Is it possible to get a toothmark in your nipple? |
Kyan has been mostly breastfed during his first year of life, which is a feat in itself because most people quit after 6 weeks (Apparently. Don't quote me.) when their maternity leave is up. I like(d) breastfeeding because of the obvious benefits to his health (he's never had even a cold yet!) and to mine, but also because it was/is easier at night to pop a boob out and lay him beside you and let him do whatever, and because there's just a bonding effect that you can't describe that comes with being so close to him. Obviously I take a more hippie-dippy approach to raising Kyan. One, we do the family bed (sometimes the hour at which we do this is not when we would choose, but we don't really mind most of the time). Two, we don't favor the "cry it out" method. Three, we breastfeed and we do it on demand not on schedule. Four, we let him be curious and figure out and explore things on his own as long as he's safe, and who cares if he wears shoes or gets a little dirty. Five, We are big advocates of hand me downs, yard sales, thrift shops, Goodwill, etc. as long as it's nice and taken care of and we clean it up and disinfect it ourselves. So my initial quest to breastfeed was just a given. I figure if it's good enough for babies years and years ago, then it's good enough for mine.
We've battled the engorgement (and it doesn't really feel like a 2x4 hit you across the chest when it comes in, but when it doesn't get let out then it's comparable), failed attempts to pump, soreness, and now teething. Although I'm not a big fan of letting your kid use you as a pacifier, at some point it's just the only thing that works, but I am a big fan of not nearly getting your nipple pierced by the newest baby tooth. Kyan really doesn't bite unless he's just not hungry and I'm trying to hard to get him to get his belly full to go to sleep. Most of the time I can bet that it's coming on, and can ward it off, because I know when he finally lulls off to sleep he'll clamp down one final time, probably in protest. So as I sit here and look at my wrinkled, sausage pizza topping bit like chunk of flesh, I gotta wonder. Can you, or is it even possible, to get a toothmark in your nipple? It's not smooth so you can't really tell right away, and it's an odd shape anyways so it's not like you'd notice if a chunk was missing or not, so.... |
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| So I joined a Mommy support group.... |
So I decided to join the Mom's Club yesterday. Kyan and I need to get out of the house and out into the world and work on some of our issues and if sipping kool-aid and getting dirt on our diaper is what it takes then that's how it's going to be! I think the main reason that I even entertained the idea of joining was because of the separation issues we're having right now. It's not enough that I can barely go upstairs to put away laundry without him screaming and crying until I return, but I also can't put him in the play pen, or the car seat, or even put up the baby gates without the wailing starting. He's even having issues with my Mom not holding him when he wants her, which is understandable because he's seen her the most outside of his Mommy and Daddy since he was born.
To get him introduced to other kids, let's face it he's around adults 98% of the time and I don't want him to grow up with a big vocabulary and manner like me but wants nothing to do with the school bus and kindergarten later on, we've signed up for a bunch of stuff this month. First off we might go walking on Thursday at 10 a.m. (not my ideal time because now his eating schedule is off. Usually we have gram crackers and yogurt with Sesame Street at 11) It's low key, one mile, and on stroller time so definately not a big rush aerobic type thing, not that I don't need to get the blood flowing because I gotta drop some weight and I still haven't had time to watch the Baby/Mommy Yoga DVD I bought. I'm also doing "Duck Days" which is a picnic lunch and feeding the ducks at Prickett's Fort, and a couple other activities that are sponsored at other memebers homes (which I've never met a few of them so it'll be kind of weird going to someone's house and then introducing yourself.)
That's another thing. I CAN'T INTRODUCE MYSELF ANYMORE!! Is my identity completely gone outside of , "Hi, I'm Steph..AND THIS IS KYAN! Kyan kyan kyan..he does this.. he does that..we're working on this...blah blah blah.."and the conversation ending in "We'd better go get his sippy and crackers" or "No, you can't get down. That's ka-ka" and then him saying ka-ka and laughing for 10 minutes.
Hopefully my mind will return shorty now that I've joined. |
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Alias: SNM
Hometown: Farmington, WV, United States
About Me: SMN is currently a S@HM who resides in the Senior Citizen capital of the world. Amongst her many talents are writing, tiptoeing through the mind field that is her living room, saving run away strollers, lacing any comment with sarcasm, and changing a diaper in 10 seconds flat. Her greatest achievements are birthing Thing One and Thing Two. Ongoing projects include diving into the world of blogging, weaning an aggressive breast feeder, parenting and all it's challenges, and being a wife she can live with (as well as her husband).
See my profile...
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