So my big beef lately is having people come up and ask me when I'm having another baby. Not to say that the people who don't ask before they do things to my son (take his bib off, give him food without asking if he may have it or what size pieces and such, give him toys that aren't cleared with me, put him in grass or on gravel/sidewalks...and the list goes on and on) isn't obnoxious to say the least. He's my baby, I gave birth to him, I've nursed him for a year, I changed outfits 8 times a day if it warranted it from his reflux, and I take great pains and go to great lengths to keep him looking nice and being happy and raising him how I want to raise him because HE'S MINE, just hohum things of that nature.
My problem isn't that it's a personal question that not even my Mom is interested in asking me or would ask me (and not because she's a self-proclaimed prude, but because she knows that it's something that I will discuss with her when my husband and I decided to take that next step)but because it's a very private matter that ultimately I will decide upon and ask my husband for imput on before we jointly make a decision. I'm not going to call people up while we're in the sack and say, "Hey um.. Aunt/MIL/Random Walmart Shopper/etc. what do you think about me making a baby tonight? Any thoughts? Pros and cons? Yeah, I'll hold." That's not how it works!
What bugs me is that people don't think about things such as:
- Did I have trouble medically during my pregnancy or labor or post partum and thus I need to seriously check with my Dr. before making that decision to concieve or would it be too risky?
- Are we financially stable enough to raise two children at this time or do we want to try to replenish our savings another year or so before we consider?
- Do we have medical insurance to cover two kids and my prenatal and postpartum care?
- Did I have trouble concieving in the first place?
- Do we want other kids?
- Did we have miscarriages before or even after our son was concieved/born and thus we are thankful for one miracle and if we are blessed with another that's wonderful and if not, hey that's great we have one great child.
- Are there greater needs in our household like another income, finishing our educations, purchasing or renting a new home because we don't have the space for two children?
These are all questions that nobody takes into consideration , but at the same time can't wait to pop out the "So, When are you having another one?! or Are you ready for the next one?!" question (especially at family gatherings or quiet yet random moments). To set the record straight. Yes. We are definately having more children. At this time, however, we feel like we have enough going on in our lives just letting our one year old be our baby and get our undivided attention. Perhaps when he turns 2 we will entertain the idea of what we need to do before we get pregnant for our next child, however, we have already decided upon things that we know we will be doing in preparation so it wont' be a big deal when the time comes or a big shock to get everything ready. HOWEVER, We would welcome any "accidental/unplanned/surprise" pregnancies that may happen in the meantime because we fully understand that you are never fully ready financially/emotionally/physically for a baby. Disclaimer: In the event that I do get asking this question again, my response shall be bluntly sarcastic as follows: "Well, we figure we'll wait until these invasively personal questions stop being asked because it's just so much fun hearing it over and over again!" |
