| Been kicked out of an Aldi's lately? |
I went grocery shopping last night and saw an 80 year old being kicked out of an Aldi's. Now, I'm all for discount groceries and eventhough Walmart claims to have the lowest prices, I don't see how they can justify selling a can of pears for $1.25 when another store has them for $.69. As we were going in there was this little old man standing smack dab in the middle of the automatic doors, which is not only a hazard, but blocking the way for myself and my child, a couple in their 60's and a middle aged man and our shopping carts. It was raining and very breezy and the lady asked him if he could please move in a little more so that we could all get inside out of the draft. She was met by a nice "Go to hell" and he remained there, fiddling with his list and wallet. A few minutes later a nice cashier came over and asked him to move since it was hazardous to stand in the middle of those doors. He told her to mind her own business and moved inside, driving his cart right down the center of the isle as we all lagged behind.
I don't really care. I hate grocery shopping but I like to take my time and find things I need and get them while comparing prices so if he wanted to take 20 minutes per isle, more power to him. We all shopped and then once we got to a wider isle, passed him with care and went on about our business.
A few minutes later, while scanning produce, I heard the yelling of profanities and vulgarity coming from him over in the canned veggie isle. I guess a man had asked him to kindly scooch over so he could please get around him a little easier. Another cashier was over there trying to break it up and while he spewed "f-you!" and "G-D it!" all over the store, a burly manager came out to investigate.
I felt really bad for the man because he seemed to be lost. He scowered all the isles but put only a few items in his cart. At the moment there were about 4 big jars of peanuts, 9 boxes of elbow macaronni, 5 boxes of cereal and one small quart of milk. I thought that maybe he was alone, with no family to help him out and he got things that required little cooking, or that possibly he was in the early stages of dementia and was doing things he would've never dreamed of doing a few years earlier. His clothes were a little mismatched and while he was wearing dress pants, he had a very stained undershirt that was covered by a half buttoned, wrinkled shirt.
The manager asked him to please refrain from swearing and yelling as it was a family store with women and children present who didn't appreciate that type of language but the man only got more frustrated. He finally had to tell him to either tone it down or leave the store. After calling the manager a few choice words he was met with the ultimatum of either leave on his own free will, have them call someone to pick him up, or have the police come. He ended up leaving and as I paid for my groceries I wondered if he was even safe to drive.
Getting old is hell, and while I do want to see my children grow up and raise babies of their own while I enjoy retirement with my husband, I hate to think of all the illness and heartache that comes with it. I only hope that this little old man, who once was probably polite, chivalrous, and a hard working family man had someone to go home to and take care of him. |
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| "Mommy! Dat Sexist!" |
So it's no secret to some of you that there are a few forums on the web that I frequent whose interests range from just women's issues and general conversation to Mommy friendly sites that also offer nonjudgemental views and alternate approaches to raising children. An issue came up on the non-Mommy related one this week that I've found to be particularly mindboggling as to why this is an issue. Granted I'm all for equality and freedom of opression, but I just don't find a toddler to be all that oppressed especially in gender issues and stereotypes and ideals that they have yet to be introduced to and probably won't comprehend until they're atleast school age.
The topic came up about the new Tonka truck being marketed for boys only with the slogan: "Built For Boys"
First off, I'm not going to get my panties in a twist about a marketing strategy or a commercial because:
- I have no time to sit around listening to commercials and my main concern is either, "Did I program it to go straight from Blue's Clues to Handy Manny?" and if it's nap time then I go towards, "Did Jason finally tell Lucky he's the father of Elisabeth's baby Jake?!"
- My kid could care less if I gave him a toy truck marketed for boys only because he'll probably play with it fine at my house, then look for the box it came in, or only love it if my Mom buys it for him because toys are soooo much better at Grandma's house.
- Yes it's nieve, but I want my kid to be shielded from all the uglies in the world until he can understand them fully and why they are wrong. That includes sexism, racism, and any other ism that partains to our little corner of the world and is introduced to him. But why try to explain to someone who still poops in his pants that girls can play with G.I. Joes too (and will want to later in life around age 20... but I digress.) and boys can wear pink shirts.
So there was an uproar about the unfairness, to which a lot of good points came up, as well as mine which I knew were against the concensus and would most likely call for me to be ripped a new one since I was being rather conservative on the issue compared to others. My points being are this (and go word for word because they are exactly what I posted.): "I'm all for equality but I think that a slogan for a kid's toy is blowing it out of proportion a little bit. I'm sure that there are a million adds for Barbies, Bratz dolls, and other pink products that don't have boy friendly slogans in their advertising campaigns. Now unless a child, which that particular toy is for ages 12-36 months, who is 1-3 years old comes up and cries because it's unfair that it's for boys only then yes that's a problem, but kids in that age category could care less, don't know what sexism is and if given the opportunity to play with the toy they probably would or wouldn't want to play with it based on if it was fun and appealing, not based on their gender alone. We're not preconditioned at that age to recognize a boy toy from a girl toy, we just play with whatever's cool. It could be the cardboard box that it came in! I don't think children learn sexism, jealousy, etc. until it is explained to them or they are introduced to it at an older age like 4 or 5 when they start to enter the preschool/elementary school scene and they can understand the concept fully." After not meeting approval another point was brought up about socialization and I'll paraphrase because I don't want to copy someone word for word without asking but it was basically that it comes down to at birth in the hospital we are put in our blue or pink place and that they are told from that moment how to behave gender approprately. Another thought came from a friend of mine who said basically that most stores have larger sections for girls, bedding, toys, clothes, etc. and their accessories than boys, which I also find to be true. Personally, and it' s me speaking again, Who needs a separate pink isles for Barbie, Bratz, and then your other dolls. Is there a vendetta going on between Barbie and Bratz? Did Skipper put a hit out on one of the big eyed/big lipped dolls? Girls have a variety of colors to choose from too because they don't have to worry that someone is going to call them a sissy. I'd like to have a holiday/birthday where Kyan didn't get a million and one blue shirts that all look the same and didn't feature either dinosaurs/cars/sports on them. I actually enjoy Christmas because of the large amount of shirts in red and green (not camo green or khaki green but green)or sweaters and tees that show moose or snowmen or something different than footballs.
I know that little girls get stereotyped too and that everything is either sparkly or ruffled and crap like that. I'm not saying that Moms of little girls probably don't get tired of every shirt having a butterfly on it (for example). Both genders have things geared towards them, whereas it's not exactly fair that Barbie gets a whole pink isle devoted to her, it's not exactly fair that I can't go to the store and find something for my son that isn't promoting sports, guns, or is a unisex toy like a Fisher Price barn yard play set or educational toys like Leap Frog. But we could argue back and forth on this subject all day.
The problem that I have is that it's not our kids saying "Mommy, dat's sexist!" at age 1-3 which is the age group that that specific toy is geared towards, and it's adults blowing it out of proportion who bring it to a child's attention. Seriously, I'm not going to watch a Bratz commercial and say, "Well that commercial is being mean to you Kyan because it says you can't have a Bratz doll." If he wanted a damn Bratz doll I'd go and get him one, but the fact is that he could care less and I could too about what a commercial says. I'm more interested in 1.) Is it suitable for his age right now because sometimes they say they are but he would enjoy it more if he were a little bit older and 2.) Can I afford to get him that in our budget for Christmas presents or would I be better off to spend the exact amount on two smaller but more enjoyable toys that he might pick out himself at the store.
Gender roles and stereotypes only stick around because we teach our kids that this is how it is. I'm not saying that firing off and e-mail to Tonka or Hasbro or whatever company is a waste of time, and not a good idea, but there are more constructive ways at teaching your kids that girls can play with trains and trucks and GI Joe if they want and Boys can have a baby doll and play dress up and wear purple/pink/peach/teal/etc. by not making such an issue of what society says is wrong or not their role and letting them play with whatever they want. Why bring up the subject of sexism or any other ugliness when they're not even in preschool when they have a whole lifetime to learn how the world is and how they can change it and for us to teach them that they don't always have to fit into the mold that this is right and this is wrong because people say it is. Let them be kids! They're not going to grasp the entire point of the subject at such a young age anyways, it's better to educate them when they're old enough to make choices on toys the like or clothes so that they take that lesson and the values you're instilling in them and use it for the rest of their lives. But with all of this madness and chaos and sexist talk, one brave girl asked (not me but I wish I could take credit) if we were all going to petition Mattel to see why Barbie isn't marketed to boys too? And this is true. Why are we not finding petitions to both sides? Is it because we're women and we want what men have equally including Tonka trucks that aren't marketed to only people with a 'pee-pee' or is it because the Mom who wrote about her outrage has a daughter and because I have a son I don't see it the same way? Perhaps we should petition Hasbro to have a female G.I. Joe doll, but then that would counteract the fact that we'd have to turn around and complain that she needed to be G.I. Josephine or G.I. Juanita because we couldn't have just a Caucasian doll, and we'd need her to also be Brunette with Blonde highlights or something so we wouldn't offend either Brunettes or Blondes because of her hair color.. I don't know. Maybe we should just go to a daycare and ask the toddler class since it's probably worrying them so much they can't take naps. |
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| Throwing rocks at your bedroom window is not always romantic. |
I was awoken today by a sound. A few minutes earlier I had wondered if my husband was either on his way home or pulling in the driveway because it was around the time he was due to be home from midnight shift. Something pinging on my window made me think, "Did one of those obnoxious birds finally quit singing at 5 a.m. and fly into my window?!" until it happened again.. and again... and then I finally looked up to see a piece of gravel fly up and peck my window.
We live in a very small town in a private townhouse type building/complex. Our new neighbors have parties, bang on doors all night, and I like to know my house is secure. I lock the screen and main doors and also keep the baby gate up for good measure. I don't like being alone with my son in the house and I don't like feeling like the house isn't secure. Apparently the hubby doesn't see it that way.
Remember ladies, sometimes things are romantic in the movies, but when an exhausted hubby comes home and does it you might be met with a "Why the hell do you baracade yourself in the house?! " in the early a.m. hours. |
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| Three things that do not digest... |
- The small red cherries in mixed fruit cups. It does however make a nice confetti like surprise in the diaper.
- Hot dogs. You should never hear the phrase. "I think the baby pooped during his bath because there are bits of undigested hotdog still in his bathwater, and he ate that last night."
- Raisins. Mommy was almost convinced that the deer on his pajama shirt had used his diaper as well.
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| I'm the Gateway Black Widow... |
I feel like a Black Widow as far as my Gateway computer was concerned. Late last week, surrounded by the family, our Gateway computer died. The death was more of an euthenasia as I tried reviving over and over again. I even called Abdul, who said his name was "Chip", and spent about a half hour eduring his snotty attitude before telling him (after he said it was best to pull the plug.. actually the harddrive to be correct) that I wasn't a complete idiot and if my MIL had given me all the software for this computer I'd have smoked it (formatted) about six hours ago and not called him to listen to him lie about his name and be snotty while forgetting that if I didn't call, he wouldn't be getting the money he's making now over in Blahoogalaroogistan! Sadly, it was a lost cause and I had to turn off the power one last time and confirm the sad news to my husband.
At first, the withdraw symptoms from lack of computer was almost unbearable! Every commercial that had a website gave me the shakes, eventhough I knew perfectly well that I had no interest in looking up any type of car insurance or medical scooter thingy. I cursed like a junkie in rehab and began sweating everytime I came upstairs to use the computer and then realized it was dead. It's like when the power goes out in the daytime but you still turn on the lightswitch and then you stomp at your own stupidity. After a few days we broke down and went to the public library (before realizing that almost everything but google or yahoo is banned on their kid friendly firewall system) and then finally sucked it up and went to my parents house and begged like a leper for my sister to give us ten minutes each of laptop time. Groveling is going to have to be a Top 10 quality for any man she marries, I might add. Then as time went on we realized that watching TV was like wearing a nicotine patch. Not the real thing, but a good replacement for what it's worth. I baked. I get bored and I bake. Having the food network and access to The Racheal Ray show is a lethal combination. I also realized that if you stay up late enough that there is a sex toy home shopping show. It doesn't help that the Hubby is on midnight shift. And then I began making lists. OH THE LISTS!
I started making lists when I was pregant with Kyan and restricted to answering the phones and various other desk duty tasks at work. Grocery lists, To Do Lists for today, To Do this Week, Weekend Chores and Plans, Things to remind the hubby, Things to make the hubby do, etc. and so forth and so on. This week I have done a daily To Do List, a Weekly To Do List, a Phone call list of places that I've needed to call and make appointments and things with, my Christmas Card list to plan for how many boxes of cards to buy, a list of how many pictures in various sizes to order when we get our family Christmas portrait done this weekend, Present ideas for all family members, blah de dah de dah.
We began pricing computers, after about a day of mourning and after the initial "WE NEED A COMPUTER!! HOW CAN WE LIVE WITHOUT A COMPUTER!!??" phase wore off. Then we realized that all that "Oh, everyone has a laptop now, a desktop computer is probably really cheap!" was really crappy advice and no where near true. We learned not to trust the Circuit City guy when he tells you that a computer will be there for you to pick up tomorrow if you decide to because when you drive back there, someone sold it to the woman in front of you. We also learned that you should never trust your husband in an electronics store because he's going to want the flatscreen, upgraded model monitor. He's also going to see about 98 things in the store that he wants for Christmas or that he's going to get for you so he can use it to. He also will start telling you that in addition to the computer, you need to get the matching 8 in one printer because it would be cheaper to get it than not get it. Another lie is that the room would look much better with a bigger computer desk, especially a corner wall unit, $$$. I started feeling a little more like a Black Widow. Here we were, not a few days from when our trusty but old and outdated computer had crashed and we were drooling over the upgrades like a cowboy in a whorehouse. Then I realized that we slowly killed our computer anyways! We had an almost decade old computer that we stuffed full of unnecessary programs, tons of paparazzi like photos of our son and any major or minor tidbit thing he has done, and not to mention the fact that it pretty much ran for weeks at a time without being shut off properly. Did we kill it?! Did we not put it out of it's misery, but essentially cause it's misery?! We killed it to get a better computer! We're like that joke that really fat and bald guys or guys who hit 40 start using. "Well, once the wife hit's 40, I'm gonna trade her in for two 20's! heh heh heh." But instead of a gracious divorce or even just getting a newer one and using it for financial stuff only, we killed it! We offed it so we could have a reason to get a new one! Now I see us doing the same thing to our other beloved appliances and furniture. Take for instance the rocking recliner downstairs. How many times have we said, "Well.. it's really old, and rocking a baby to sleep for over a year now really has wore it down real good. I guess when it goes we'll just have to get a new one!" OH MY GOODNESS!
So now I have resigned to the fact that I am the Gateway Black Widow. I use them and then lose them. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go put a hit out on the toaster. It burnt my poptart. |
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Alias: SNM
Hometown: Farmington, WV, United States
About Me: SMN is currently a S@HM who resides in the Senior Citizen capital of the world. Amongst her many talents are writing, tiptoeing through the mind field that is her living room, saving run away strollers, lacing any comment with sarcasm, and changing a diaper in 10 seconds flat. Her greatest achievements are birthing Thing One and Thing Two. Ongoing projects include diving into the world of blogging, weaning an aggressive breast feeder, parenting and all it's challenges, and being a wife she can live with (as well as her husband).
See my profile...
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