| Why, oh why?! Part 1 |
So, I've been lurking around yet again and neglecting my blog. I know, I know. If GH can have their fictional characters blogging, then why can't a real human being keep up with their own? The truth is... we're slowly fighting naptime, which was "Mommy can breathe and take a break time" and now I'm only getting a chance to do this because it's late, I just did some budgeting, and I cut my foot on a piece of glass I've swept 4 times and mopped twice and still missed the one piece that would wedge into my foot and make me wake up my husband to look to make sure all the glass was out because I couldn't bend my foot and hold the bloody towel to see the one blindspot on my heal that it pierced. I know, it's complicated, don't try to contort yourself to figure out the exact spot, just take my word that it exists.
In my brief hiatus I've been pondering a few questions and this is Part 1 of those I can remember for the moment and would like to ask into the internet universe:
#1. Why do actresses feel the need to botox themselves before the new season of their show? I'm watching Army Wives and thanking the Good Lord that it's finally back on for season 2 and all I can do is sit and wonder if Claudia Joy had some post bomb botox or if her mouth area is just still swollen from her injuries? She's extrodinarily unwrinkled and smooth for a woman her age so why did she go and get injected?
#2 Why do we feel the need to name call? I used to frequent a message board for the past 6-7 years and there is a girl on there who in the past year or two has just been remotely rude and targeting of me most of the time. I really don't care but she resorts to name calling as her "weapon of choice" in most all conversations/debates/etc. when really she should just be mature and ignore things she dislikes or make mention of them and keep the negativity to herself. Class case of "think it, but don't necessarily say it aloud because it's just petty". Anyways, she makes this public apology because her 3 year old called her out on her use of the word idiot to almost everyone in any situation that isn't going her way. What is the need to apologize in a "I'm sorry I call you one but I still think you're an idiot." sort of way?
#3 How come we realize how bad our bodies look in pictures, or how much we should love our pregnant bodies and embrace maternity wear? I'm seriously not loving the way my digital camera doesn't give me an option to edit out my days when Mommy didn't have time to fix her hair to 100% completion or when we did our make-up thinking "What can I absolutely not live without today?" or "Really, who am I going to run into while wearing my oldest pair of flip flops and stained up jeans?" Why is it now I wear every piece of suck me in, hold me taut undergarments because I don't want to look flabby in pictures? How come when I was pregnant I didn't take advantage of these floppy shirts and dresses that were in fashion? Why is it that maternity clothes now look cuter than when I was pregnant 2 years ago? How come pregnant women think they're sea cows when I'd die to have a reason to not look like I'm next in line for the cover of Shape Magazine?!
#4 How come the minute you get baby fever, a pregnancy scare, and a whacked out cycle coming off of BC Pills that you notice that about 80% of the women in any give place you are standing are either pregnant or postnatal? Really that's all I have to say about this one.
#5 When is Lifetime going to stop making films that make me go and wake my kid up to kiss, hug, cuddle and almost smother him in affection? I seriously am starting to love the "He beat me so I killed him" marathons because lately they've been a real downer. The Memory Keeper's Daughter premiered on a night when Kyan was fighting bedtime horribly and had also battled his naptime that day so I was at my wit's end for a break and still had a lunch to pack and a shirt to iron. The minute I get him into his crib, fast asleep, is the moment they reject the baby and then the woman falls apart and all I want to do is go and cuddle with him.
#6 Why does my mother buy my kid everything and let him get away with murder and yet we would've been told to suck it up or "People in hell want ice water, doesn't mean they get it"? We're out there tonight and Kyan doesn't want to eat the dinner no matter how many pickles I bribe him with. We even moved dinner outside to the patio furniture she just got because "Maybe he'd rather eat outside?" 15 minutes later my Mom is walking around with him in the yard while I'm wrapping both of their dinners up for them to eat later. Call me crazy but I remember the woman who made us sit at the table for an hour until we ate our broccoli or fish sticks. Who was that?
#7 Is it really the terrible twos or is that just something fictional to blame it on? Everytime Kyan does something out of the ordinary or throws a little tantrum or gets fussy my hubby tells whomever is in earshot that it's the beginning of the terrible twos. It can't be that he wasn't home all day and Kyan just wants some Daddy Time, or that he didn't take a nap, or he wants something and is clearly saying it but Daddy can't interpret it or is too wrapped up in the Red Sox game, or that he's close to lunchtime and we're still running errands or whatever. Really is it the terrible twos, the terrible threes, or is it that our kid is finally starting to communicate but not fast enough and it's frustrating to him?
#8 How come the second I bring home a bunch of fresh fruit from the grocery store I realize that yet again I picked the ones that attract those icky gnatty looking fruit fly things? Kyan loves fruit, he can say cookie like a champ and will eat one once in a while, but he really loves the ol' bananas/grapes/pears/etc. So why is it that being a good Mommy with a nutritious meal plan do I end up buying that nice fresh fruit that goes bad a few days later only to come home and wash it and then start to see those crappy little bugs flying around? Are they hiding out in the stems of the fruit? Where do they come from?! How do people actually get around to making banana bread with ready to rot bananas when those buggers are there atleast a few days before they hit that point?!
#9 Why can't my husband realize he needs to do some portion control when he eats? He eats and eats and eats and then gets that sick feeling and then later complains that he's fat. Should we have stopped at the 4th salisbury steak you ate? Maybe the 5th? I blame his upbringing. He will sit and eat a whole pack or container of something just because it's there and looks at me like I'm crazy for making dinner and having so many different foods to eat and select from. If you know you're going to be sick and you're already feeling full, why push it?
#10 How comes the second we get weather with humidity, and over 75 degree heat, all of my bodily systems go screwy? We go to Applebee's last night and I feel like I need to use the bathroom. I get there and realize as I sit down to potty that I was about 2 seconds from explosive diarrhea. Why? Because it's been hot. Everytime Summer hits it seems like my body does a complete system redo and I get headaches, body cramps, swelling, and some weird type of irritable bowel syndrome.
#11 I'm all for sex, and I'm all for Summertime, but how come you can have sex about 9 hours prior to standing back up to get up and start your day and you get a gush of post coital ickiness? I hate semen. |
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Alias: SNM
Hometown: Farmington, WV, United States
About Me: SMN is currently a S@HM who resides in the Senior Citizen capital of the world. Amongst her many talents are writing, tiptoeing through the mind field that is her living room, saving run away strollers, lacing any comment with sarcasm, and changing a diaper in 10 seconds flat. Her greatest achievements are birthing Thing One and Thing Two. Ongoing projects include diving into the world of blogging, weaning an aggressive breast feeder, parenting and all it's challenges, and being a wife she can live with (as well as her husband).
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