| Lost in Dream Sequences |
We had a fight tonight and I took Kyan to the store afterwards only to come home a little bit later to find that Jared was gone. It took a while but he finally turned up. Things wrack my brain when stuff like this happens. I think he's not coming back, I think he's done something stupid to hurt himself, I wonder how to get a hold of him to tell him to come back, and I wonder who to call to look for him, mad because he's not here and then he comes home like nothing happened and I'm stupid for being mad that he didn't leave a note to say he was just going for a long walk. Who does that?!
I get mad at myself because I think I shouldn't be the one feeling this way. If I left he'd be pissed, but would he care? And when he walks in the door I want to cry and run to him and hug him and instead we just sit in the living room like two strangers. Why? Why is it that we can't get back together on the same page?! Why can't we compromise? Why can't we just be happy to be together and fortunate to have found someone to be with? I know we still love each other but the caring part kills me.
Then I feel like why am I always in the relationship where I'm the one who cares about the level of loving, trust and caring? Why am I always chasing after someone who really doesn't see or doesn't care. Why do I sacrifice myself for only a sliver of decency and respect back?
It's just not fair. It's not fair that I'm the only one who cares if I lose him or vice versa. |
|
|
|
|
Alias: SNM
Hometown: Farmington, WV, United States
About Me: SMN is currently a S@HM who resides in the Senior Citizen capital of the world. Amongst her many talents are writing, tiptoeing through the mind field that is her living room, saving run away strollers, lacing any comment with sarcasm, and changing a diaper in 10 seconds flat. Her greatest achievements are birthing Thing One and Thing Two. Ongoing projects include diving into the world of blogging, weaning an aggressive breast feeder, parenting and all it's challenges, and being a wife she can live with (as well as her husband).
See my profile...
|
|
|
|
|
background by tayler
TackODing font
|
|
