| I know what's sexy.. |
Nothing says sexy quite like jumping your husband when he's already asleep, giving a pretty good start up blow job, climbing on top of him as he riggles around in anticipation, and then getting the urge to sneeze about 3 times and on the last one accidentally farting on his balls. Needless to say the orgasm that was going to happen in mere seconds needed a rework up so the quickie turned out to be a little more work. Seriously, this whole ovulation tracking processes is making me a little loopy. I'm like watching Mariah Carey at a press conference. Totally wacked out but smiling like an idiot.
But after doing that I just didn't feel like revisiting that same area and doing a bit of "fluff work" because I wasn't in that Porn Star frame of mind after passing gas in a vibrating kinda way. You just can't do the same "ooh" and "ah" face after you let one. So, I basically did the up down thing on top for about 10 minutes and then told him if he wanted to get behind me that it'd probably be the best idea or this could go on for a while... i.e. my legs were starting to cramp up, and miraculously the miracles of the ass shot, got me out of a "could you put your leg here? my arm's getting tired? what if we did this?" and then the inevitable queef from where you move around too much. I've had enough embarassing air moments that night to tack on a queefing.
So when I woke up at 4 a.m. this morning to pee and swish around some sperm that just didn't make it up the ol' baby shoot or did and decided it was too dark, wet, and scary, I thought, "I must blog about this, because someone will find it humorous in the long run."
Lessons learned. Must pick up dusting products so kicking up a little bit during a sneak nookie attack doesn't end up in the ol' sneeze and fart. |
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Alias: SNM
Hometown: Farmington, WV, United States
About Me: SMN is currently a S@HM who resides in the Senior Citizen capital of the world. Amongst her many talents are writing, tiptoeing through the mind field that is her living room, saving run away strollers, lacing any comment with sarcasm, and changing a diaper in 10 seconds flat. Her greatest achievements are birthing Thing One and Thing Two. Ongoing projects include diving into the world of blogging, weaning an aggressive breast feeder, parenting and all it's challenges, and being a wife she can live with (as well as her husband).
See my profile...
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