I was thinking about when I first knew I was pregnant with Kyan this morning. Lots of reflection since he's turning 2 and he's changing so much into a little man than the small baby he used to be.

You know, you hold that wiggling thing in your belly for 9 months, then you hold it close to you for the first 12 months outside the belly and you never realize that all those button nose, chubby cheeks and spit bubbles are going to blink and change into a smart little man with his own distinct facial features and a running spirt (and vocabulary!) so soon. It almost makes me wish that I held him more and cuddled him as a baby, eventhough with all the co-sleeping, the burping, the reflux, the snuggles in the morning, and the nursing, I'm sure he was held more than any Child Expert would agree that you should do.
And getting pregnant was such a spur of the moment thing. That Summer I was only doing the "Yeah, I want to be a parent one day" thing but never thought that by that time next Summer I'd be ready to pop! I don't think I even was thinking about my period being late until I was almost a week overdue for it. But we were still in that honeymoon phase of "gah! I don't want to stop for a few days!" because sex every night is like breathing at this point! And then I gave it two or three more days just incase, like maybe my uterus forgot "oh, I gotta start shedding this lining!" because of all the action that was happening in that area after such a dry spell.

The one thing that I noticed changing from my body that clued me in that I was probably pregnant was that 1.) I could smell all types of things really pungently. and 2.) When I would pee I would nearly gag because my urine smelled bad to me. I even had the DR. check my urine and check for infection and the nurse said, "Nope. Just one of those odd pregnancy things" later on. And yes it's gross and borderline disgusting to most, but your body tries to tell you these things and you either brush them off or are too stupid to get it. You just think, "huh. oh well." and move on.

I even remember taking the test before he got home from work but I don't remember buying the test and I don't remember my reaction or seeing the positive sign in the little window. I don't think I even took more than one test. I just knew it and went on. I think I even took a few days to monitor the situation and figure out how to tell Jared he was going to be a father. Now that moment I can see in my head.

He'd been bugging me to open atleast one present before Christmas and we'd put up the tree already and wrapped and did our presents under the tree. It was Dec. 15th and he was antsy so I had bought him one of those "Daddying for Dummies" books and told him that he could open the present in his stocking and then I left the room to "do something". I remember him coming in, book only half unwrapped and saying, "Are you serious? I knew it! Seriously?!" and then jumping on the bed where I was watching t.v. and then that's when the obsession with the belly happened. (It's a wonder Kyan doesn't have a dent in his forehead from where Jared had this uncanny ability of just sticking his finger in my belly button the entire 9 months. That was his "Thing".)

And I'm sure that the reflection isn't going to stop there because we still have 9 more days before his birthday. Another 7 afterwards for his party extravaganza. Now if only I could get another moment like this to reflect upon, I'd be fine.