 My grandmother decided last week that I was pregnant and had to call me at 10 a.m. to "ask before I started bragging to everyone about another great-grandbaby!" I guess that's the benefit of having the neighborhood/town gossip as your grandmother because she atleast checks the facts before spreading it like wildfire!
Her reasoning was a bit sketchy at best. We had to attend my Great-Grandfather's funeral. He died at 92, not a bad life, and he got to know his great-great grandson (Kyan) so that in my book means something. Anyways, I don't get dressed up anymore because I don't have a reason to really. It sucks when you realize that you mostly wear jeans and a nice shirt and call that looking good, and sometimes dare I say it "classy" and "put together". I had bought a pair of pants for a wedding we were going to attend last fall but didn't end up going because of gas prices. (now a laughable thing since it was around $3.00 at that point and now it's between $3.69-$4.00) When I went to look for a shirt, dear hubby said, "You have a whole box of dress clothes you used to wear, go pull something out!" What he didn't realize was that they were packed away because they were clothes I wore at my office job and that the Summer clothes were from MY THIRD TRIMESTER! Men. He still didn't get the point because "girls wear blousy shirts now a days, and it was only 2 years ago!" until I put on a shirt and looked like Marie Antoinette without her hoop skit. Tons of fabric! I can't believe this was snug at one point! Upon telling this humorous story my Grandmother skipped from "funny" to "Oh my gosh, she's trying to tell me in a funny way that she's pregnant!!" What?! So I get the phone call and reexplain the story and reassure her that no I'm not pregnant at this point and thanks for calling to ask and blah blah blah. Later on I call my Mom and tell her about how the woman is losing it and how my day got started with my grandmother having a pregnancy scare for me and how crazy that was. Now, my Mom means well and I'm sure she'd be elated to have another grandchild but she worries a lot and she knows that yes we had hard times when I was a child and yes she wishes she wouldn't have waited 5 years between her 2 children and the list goes on but after what I thought was an amusing story she says.. "With all of Kyan's things, where would you put a baby? Hang it from the ceiling?!"
insert crickets chirping here.
So I figure when I do get pregnant the best approach is going to be to just sky write it like "Surrender Dorothy" above her house. I wonder how much that costs?  I guess you'd have to price it vs. witch broom or airplane. Of course I could get an annoying banner like they have at the beach or other places where they advertise "Eat at Joe's! Best $1.99 hot dog you'll ever get food poisoning from!" and have it say, "Guess what we'll be hanging from the ceiling soon?!" |
