| Thank you sir, may I have another? |
They say that the world is made for a 4 person family, and I guess that's true. I mean, growing up you always heard little girls talk about how their ideal family was to grow up and get married and have a little boy and a little girl. I mean, isn't that the dreams that kids make up? Then they grow up, find out what sex is, have their first pregnancy scare, and come to the realization that either after a tramatic (either for them or their parents) young adulthood or a horrible pregnancy/birthing experience that they'd rather only have a certain sex or a certain number of kids. Let's face it, in the first few minutes of active labor we don't often hear "This is SO horribly painful, gross, and beyond my comfort level. I never thought it'd be anything other than birthing a clean 4 month old baby like on t.v. and here it is, messy and blowing my mind. I seriously want to go get knocked up the minute I get the green light!" (Although, the topic of the girl who goes to her 6 week postnatal check up and hears "Um. You're pregnant. Didn't someone tell you to wait until you got the okay by a medical professional to have sex?" is for a different time.
It just bogs my mind that almost the minute after you bring that baby home (or even the minute you're allowed visitors after giving birth) some jackass has to say, "SO! Ready for another one?!" Are you freakin' kidding me?! Sure! When the first person said that to me after giving birth to my son my mind couldn't even wrap around why someone would say that to a new Mother/parent. It's like someone saying, "Well now, who gets dibbs on the widow?" at a funeral. What are you thinking?!
So why is it that once you have your first child it gives everyone the right to ask about your biological timeline? My MIL kept asking from around the time that Kyan was 5-6 months old when we were thinking of having a second child because "I got pregnant before you were 1 with your brother!" Oooohhkay.. After I heard that story about 20 times in the course of 20 conversations I almost wanted to say, "Well... the next time that your son and I are deciding between a blowjob or full on screwing, I'll call you and let you decide!" And why is it that complete strangers feel the need to inquire about your most private things before leading up to the question? I had a lady who was a friend of the family who said to me in the grocery store of all places, "Is he a good baby? He doesn't seem to be fussy. So you think you're ready for another anytime soon?" Like judging by the fact that he's sitting in a shopping cart is any indication that I should procreate because this is apparently his normal behavior. It's not that he got a free cookie from the bakery or two isles ago I had to rush to find some goldfish crackers and open the bag to keep him good to go for the rest of the shopping trip.
What I want to know is when you do have a second child, do people ask about your third one? Does having your second one just automatically stop all the irritatingly intrusive questions? And if you yourself mention a third baby, do people look at you in horror like, "You really want more than two?" as if them asking you "Aside from the episiotomy, the epidural that didn't take completely, first month of diagnosing him with GERD/Reflux, and the anemia and getting used to progesterone only birth control pills, I think you should have another one as soon as possible, don't you?" wasn't inappropriate if not horribly tactless in and of itself.
And all of this is assuming that someone didn't have undisclosed fertility issues or problems getting pregnant, or issues and complications during pregnancy or during labor and delivery to begin with! I can't imagine some insensitive jerk coming up to me and saying "So, now you're ready for another one" after I've had multiple miscarriages! I almost want to go make a t-shirt on Cafepress that says, "I just gave birth, ask my husband if he's ready for another one!" or "Why, are you offering a sperm sample?" or "If you carry it and pop it out!" or "Sorry, the stitches havn't healed down there". What's scary is that some people still wouldn't get the point! |
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Yes, they will always ask, no matter how many kids you have. I do it too, only its in more of a snarky manner ;)
"Well now, who gets dibs on the widow?"
Classic, SNM, Classic!
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Alias: SNM
Hometown: Farmington, WV, United States
About Me: SMN is currently a S@HM who resides in the Senior Citizen capital of the world. Amongst her many talents are writing, tiptoeing through the mind field that is her living room, saving run away strollers, lacing any comment with sarcasm, and changing a diaper in 10 seconds flat. Her greatest achievements are birthing Thing One and Thing Two. Ongoing projects include diving into the world of blogging, weaning an aggressive breast feeder, parenting and all it's challenges, and being a wife she can live with (as well as her husband).
See my profile...
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Yes, they will always ask, no matter how many kids you have. I do it too, only its in more of a snarky manner ;)
"Well now, who gets dibs on the widow?"
Classic, SNM, Classic!