| MOMMY NEEDS PRIVACY!!! |
When you have a toddler or even an infant and things get too messy, sticky, poopy, colored on, etc. in life, the one constant is that you can always throw them in the tub and hose them down. Anyone else in your life that was filthy and you rushed them with such fever up the stairs and into the bathroom to be stripped down and scrubbed thoroughly would be appalled and put up lots of protest, but a small child is happy so long as the bubbles keep coming, a few rubber duckies are floating around them, a little colored or scented soap, and the triumph that they did something to make Mommy make a funny noise or expression and it's all fine!
When Kyan was a newborn, almost every bath I took between the hours of 5 a.m. and 8 p.m. included him. With a reflux child, you're always waiting for something to happen when you're not holding them or within 2 inches of them and a burp cloth. Kyan was no different. Many a days I'd hop into the shower, baby and all, while I tried to get some type of cleaning of myself (or usually he spit up so bad that it soaked both of us and we both needed to get the smell and the grossness off of us) done while he was near orgasmic proportions with the shower head massaging his little scalp, or the fact that he could eat while the whole process was going on.
I've also brought him in, even recently, because Mommy needed to wash her hair and he couldn't be trusted to be left alone while I did this, or because he refused to take a nap and I thought we'd kill two birds with one stone by having a relaxing bath while I got to get the sleep skank off my body. Dh on the other had is not that big on nudity around a child. Even at 1 week old, he wouldn't be naked around the baby. I think the fact that having a breast baby who will turn on anything shirtless with nipples (grandpa included!) just solidified his stance. Bathing with Kyan the few times he did it included hawaiian swim trunks and near panic attacks that Kyan was going to poop in the tub or that he was peeing and you didn't know it. I guess that's the difference between Daddies and Mommies.
Top 10 Things Mommies Don't Mind and Daddies Can't Discuss!
1. Talking about their war stories, including that episiotomy, hemmoroids, postnatal bleeding, bm during labor, leaking through your nursing pad and shirt, etc.
2. Emptying a potty, especially their first poopy in the potty!
3. Buying a potty and how big of a deal it is to find the right one for your child. Which is better for boys, which is cleaner, less messy, to the point that your internet browser history log shows nothing but potty reviews.
4. Expressing Breastmilk in any way shape or form. For someone who would look at a boob any chance they had, the first few weeks of breastfeeding is more about "what the hell is - how is that-what's this for and why do you need it- oh nevermind!" and then later it's nothing to just see a boob flopped out.
5. Other people breastfeeding. The first time my dh saw someone else adjusting herself to nurse her baby under her shirt with only a bit of belly showing, he was mortified! Cracking a mathematical theorum wouldn't have been so tough as wrapping his mind around the fact that other people breastfeed.
6. Changing that first bm diaper of an infant without gagging.
7. The first time your child gets the flu or other tummy viruses and vomits in front of you. Kyan was in bed with us that morning. Woke up, and threw up right in between us. To this day I still don't understand that he picked cleaning up the sheets rather than cleaning up the child. I guess he was shell shocked.
8. Watching the baby being born. Dh said he couldn't watch after Kyan's face was coming out from forehead down. He was afraid his eyes would be open. He didn't want to be looking and locking eyes with something coming out of me at the same time.
9. The first time they have to be alone with a toddler who is potty training. I went to get my hair trimmed and told him before leaving the house that I couldn't go unless I knew that he would stick to the routine and Kyan could potty while I was gone and he wouldn't just slap a pull up or diaper on him to not deal with it. He walked upstairs for a second, and came back down to find that Kyan was holding the pot part of the potty and waiting for him to empty it, let him flush, and get his M&M or Skittle reward.
10. Baby Fever! Let's do it all again!!!
So, having said all of this. I really have started thinking about the fact that I am the minority in a house full of men. I can raise Kyan all I want to not be messy in the bathroom, gross and disgusting, but he's still a boy and boys still want to be like their Daddies and Papaws and Poppys, and they still want to fit in with their friends, and nothing is going to change that DNA that says bugs are cool, frogs need to be let into the house to get lost and not found for weeks, and bodily functions are funny.
It wasn't though until the other day when Kyan was napping, I had just sat down in the tub and was beginning to lather my legs, when dh opens the bathroom door and alerts me that Kyan is awake. I almost wanted to throw the loofa at him! Was he not able to see that I was in the bathtub or that my announcement that I was going to take a bath when Kyan napped wasn't clear enough? Could he himself not go and get his son and either try to put him back down for the nap or play with him while I finished? The snide remarks of my unshaved legs were not important now that he had to deal with a 2 1/2 year old on his own for another 10-15 minutes? But what bothered me the most was that he didn't even knock!!! Where is my privacy?! Is it enough than Mon-Fri I don't even get the luxary of peeing in privacy most of the time from 5-5 but could I on Saturday get a little time to do some grooming in the privacy of my own bathroom?! Is this going to get worse as time goes on? And the fact that I was nude wasn't even an issue! I was doing something for myself!
So now in our house there is a rule. I kind of modeled it after the speech Nicholson gave to Kinnear in As Good As It Gets about not to knock on his door. (Love that part!) Unless there is a scream for help, a thud so loud that it can only be my body dropping to the floor and then no response when called out to, smoke or water pouring from beneath the door, or any other distress signs or lack of response, do not for any reason come into the bathroom when that door is shut and I am inside. If for any reason you think you need to talk to me or anyone else does then a knock should be done followed by talking through the door unless asked to come in. Simple rules for anybody, right?! This is a Saturday and Sunday rule only, not much to ask for in the scheme of things. So from now on in our house, take care of it yourself or think "Is this something that can wait or that really needs to be addressed at this moment?" and proceed accordingly. Mommy needs her privacy too! |
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Alias: SNM
Hometown: Farmington, WV, United States
About Me: SMN is currently a S@HM who resides in the Senior Citizen capital of the world. Amongst her many talents are writing, tiptoeing through the mind field that is her living room, saving run away strollers, lacing any comment with sarcasm, and changing a diaper in 10 seconds flat. Her greatest achievements are birthing Thing One and Thing Two. Ongoing projects include diving into the world of blogging, weaning an aggressive breast feeder, parenting and all it's challenges, and being a wife she can live with (as well as her husband).
See my profile...
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