Daily Musings From the Mommy Cave

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

I feel like a Black Widow as far as my Gateway computer was concerned. Late last week, surrounded by the family, our Gateway computer died. The death was more of an euthenasia as I tried reviving over and over again. I even called Abdul, who said his name was "Chip", and spent about a half hour eduring his snotty attitude before telling him (after he said it was best to pull the plug.. actually the harddrive to be correct) that I wasn't a complete idiot and if my MIL had given me all the software for this computer I'd have smoked it (formatted) about six hours ago and not called him to listen to him lie about his name and be snotty while forgetting that if I didn't call, he wouldn't be getting the money he's making now over in Blahoogalaroogistan! Sadly, it was a lost cause and I had to turn off the power one last time and confirm the sad news to my husband.

At first, the withdraw symptoms from lack of computer was almost unbearable! Every commercial that had a website gave me the shakes, eventhough I knew perfectly well that I had no interest in looking up any type of car insurance or medical scooter thingy. I cursed like a junkie in rehab and began sweating everytime I came upstairs to use the computer and then realized it was dead. It's like when the power goes out in the daytime but you still turn on the lightswitch and then you stomp at your own stupidity. After a few days we broke down and went to the public library (before realizing that almost everything but google or yahoo is banned on their kid friendly firewall system) and then finally sucked it up and went to my parents house and begged like a leper for my sister to give us ten minutes each of laptop time. Groveling is going to have to be a Top 10 quality for any man she marries, I might add. Then as time went on we realized that watching TV was like wearing a nicotine patch. Not the real thing, but a good replacement for what it's worth. I baked. I get bored and I bake. Having the food network and access to The Racheal Ray show is a lethal combination. I also realized that if you stay up late enough that there is a sex toy home shopping show. It doesn't help that the Hubby is on midnight shift. And then I began making lists. OH THE LISTS!

I started making lists when I was pregant with Kyan and restricted to answering the phones and various other desk duty tasks at work. Grocery lists, To Do Lists for today, To Do this Week, Weekend Chores and Plans, Things to remind the hubby, Things to make the hubby do, etc. and so forth and so on. This week I have done a daily To Do List, a Weekly To Do List, a Phone call list of places that I've needed to call and make appointments and things with, my Christmas Card list to plan for how many boxes of cards to buy, a list of how many pictures in various sizes to order when we get our family Christmas portrait done this weekend, Present ideas for all family members, blah de dah de dah.

We began pricing computers, after about a day of mourning and after the initial "WE NEED A COMPUTER!! HOW CAN WE LIVE WITHOUT A COMPUTER!!??" phase wore off. Then we realized that all that "Oh, everyone has a laptop now, a desktop computer is probably really cheap!" was really crappy advice and no where near true. We learned not to trust the Circuit City guy when he tells you that a computer will be there for you to pick up tomorrow if you decide to because when you drive back there, someone sold it to the woman in front of you. We also learned that you should never trust your husband in an electronics store because he's going to want the flatscreen, upgraded model monitor. He's also going to see about 98 things in the store that he wants for Christmas or that he's going to get for you so he can use it to. He also will start telling you that in addition to the computer, you need to get the matching 8 in one printer because it would be cheaper to get it than not get it. Another lie is that the room would look much better with a bigger computer desk, especially a corner wall unit, $$$. I started feeling a little more like a Black Widow. Here we were, not a few days from when our trusty but old and outdated computer had crashed and we were drooling over the upgrades like a cowboy in a whorehouse. Then I realized that we slowly killed our computer anyways! We had an almost decade old computer that we stuffed full of unnecessary programs, tons of paparazzi like photos of our son and any major or minor tidbit thing he has done, and not to mention the fact that it pretty much ran for weeks at a time without being shut off properly. Did we kill it?! Did we not put it out of it's misery, but essentially cause it's misery?! We killed it to get a better computer! We're like that joke that really fat and bald guys or guys who hit 40 start using. "Well, once the wife hit's 40, I'm gonna trade her in for two 20's! heh heh heh." But instead of a gracious divorce or even just getting a newer one and using it for financial stuff only, we killed it! We offed it so we could have a reason to get a new one! Now I see us doing the same thing to our other beloved appliances and furniture. Take for instance the rocking recliner downstairs. How many times have we said, "Well.. it's really old, and rocking a baby to sleep for over a year now really has wore it down real good. I guess when it goes we'll just have to get a new one!" OH MY GOODNESS!

So now I have resigned to the fact that I am the Gateway Black Widow. I use them and then lose them. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go put a hit out on the toaster. It burnt my poptart.

posted by SNM at 11:11 PM -

4 Comments:

At November 20, 2007 at 5:10 PM, Anonymous said…

racist much?
At November 20, 2007 at 11:13 PM, SNM said…

I'm not sure I understand where this could be viewed as "Racist". A Black Widow, if you look it up on wikipedia is:

"Black widow (criminology slang), a typology of human female that kills their husband(s)."

My referencing this slang term was because Black Widows usually feel no remorse towards killing their husbands and then quickly finding another. There was no racism at all in the post as I do not tolerate any type of racism at all.

If you feel that there is, please feel free to show me the exact part of the post and I will correctly remove, edit, or otherwise change the content if I happen to agree.

Thank you so much for your comment. Please feel free to include your email if you would like to personally address this issue or feel free to contact me at mine. Thanks!
At November 28, 2007 at 12:22 AM, Anonymous said…

I even called Abdul, who said his name was "Chip", and spent about a half hour eduring his snotty attitude .... to listen to him lie about his name and be snotty while forgetting that if I didn't call, he wouldn't be getting the money he's making now over in Blahoogalaroogistan!
At November 28, 2007 at 12:37 AM, SNM said…

I'm sorry if that was offensive. To clarify, I didn't mean to come off as racist, but it is a true fact that with the outsourcing of jobs we do get many foreign speaking telemarketers and tech support help.

Not that I should've used this in my writing, but, in all fairness when I asked him where he was from he did say he was taking my call from a middle easter country, as well as his name wasn't really "Chip". This was after the rudeness ceased when I made a comment about speaking to his supervisor about his customer service. I do apologize for this comment.